Me vs Stupid Laws

Song of the Day: Black Hole Sun – Soundgarden

Album of the Day: Breaking Up – The Research

Word of the Day: Existential

Thought of the Day: "When it comes to living life on a daily basis, we're all in the same boat; only some of us have been aboard a little longer."

Afternoon!

Right. If there’s one thing that really gets on my man-parts more than anything else, it’s censorship, in any form. We live in a society where we are allowed the freedom of free speech. A society where we can satirise religion (but have to be prepared to get our flags burned, natch), a society where we can voice our discomforts, our pleasures and our dreams.

Freedom of speech so we can voice our political beliefs, we can ridicule those in power, and we can often make statements without saying a word. All of this without fear of some kind of Stalinist reprisals.

Forget not, people, for the last hundred or so years people have been laying their lives on the line – in many millions of cases sacrificing their lives – so that we may have this freedom.

Such freedom! Such glory!

It’s a freedom that means I can call you an ignorant wanker if I want. I can call anybody an ignorant wanker if I want – I just have to be prepared for the consequences – and be adult enough to accept that.

But why am I bashing on about this? Because I’m an actor, and a quite frankly unbelievable law has just been passed in America. I forget what it’s called exactly, but the gist of it is this. Once a film has been recorded and edited, a third party may then re-cut the film in the case of anything that is overly sexual, or too violent, or has too much bad language in it – and all of this without the prior consent of the directors or production houses.

Mother-fucking-cunts. Let them try and censor that, mother fuckers!

How dare they? How dare they pass this law at a time when the productions being turned out by major film studios are beginning to shed their plasticy, pre-produced, formulaic, insipid pop nonsense – and are beginning to give us films with a social sense of morality. A conscience. Challenging films that really do make people think. See ‘Syriana’. See ‘TransAmerica’. Christ, even see ‘Napoleon Dynamite’. We need, no, we expect brave and challenging film-making – and we expect it now.

I’m not for one second saying that easy going and light hearted films should stop being made… No, I like them as much as the next person – but how dare the right-wing, conservative American government presume that they can determine just exactly what it is we watch?

Still – this law comes from a country where evolutionary theory and Darwinism isn’t taught in schools, so I can’t say I’m surprised.

At this juncture, I must say I’m not anti-American. Far from it. I know a few Americans, and they’re all highly intelligent people – who are embarrassed about the way their country is run. However, I am aware that the country is run by a power-mad, money-hungry Texan fuckwit who has a severe mistrust of anyone who looks even vaguely different to him, the monkey browed fucktard of a toss-biscuit. And the problem is, the Midwest of America trust this pant-stain.

Anyways, I digress. The point I’m trying to make is this: what would people have said if the work of Shakespeare had been censored? Oh, that’s cultural, is it? Some kid kills his Dad so he can fuck his Mum? What about Greek tragedy? Oedipus complexes? That’s bloody filthy! So it’s all culture, is it? WELL SO ARE OUR FUCKING MOVIES! They are a testament to modern culture, to how our generation view the world and its politics!

This can not – this must not – be taken away from us!

Close your hands and make a fist… Fight the system!

Phew. Rant over. Isn’t the Nanny State a wonderful thing?

Anyway, three and a half days to go…

Peace be with you,

Chris x x

Shooting Films vs Going Home

Song of the Day - Hit the Floor – Linkin Park

Album of the Day – August and Everything After – Counting Crows

Word of the Day – Flibadyjib

Thought of the Day – “Hello Dave! Is Dave there?”

Well, that’s it, people. I’m in to the last five days here at the hallowed halls of the company I work for. It’s all meetings and pressure and a whole heap of counting down the hours until I’m out of here.

I think it’s all for the best really. I mean, two of the people I was closest to have left here in the past week, and while there are some people whom I will truly miss (Akash, Alice, Pierre, Rob et al), you are proper friends and I will see you more often than you might think.

So there we go. I depart these offices for new climes in Covent Garden on Friday. Can you say excited? Because that’s what I am.

Finished shooting the film last week too. For those of you that don’t know I was shooting a short film last week entitled ‘The Boys’. Keep an eye out for it at an Indie Film Festival near you, soon! It was an interesting experience – I’ve done a few bits of film and TV before, but never to the extent that I had to really worry about it that much. Being trained in theatre, and primarily performing in theatre, is a completely different beast to film. In theatre, you have a start point, and end point, and a very definite journey for your character. You can follow that journey and achieve your emotions and super objectives every single time. Film is different in that if you fuck it up, you can call cut and go for it again. It can be pretty tedious, shooting the same scene, or line, or even word over and over again. This is so you can achieve different shot angles, close-ups, etc. All told though, it was a great ensemble experience and something that I think was very valuable. And, I have a part in another short film which is going to be distributed to major film festivals, so that’s great news too.

Finally this acting thing is showing signs of starting to come together…

So, how was the weekend? I had an unusually quiet one – ended up going back to Mum’s in Essex – got some good old fashioned home cooking! It was nice – haven’t been back since Christmas. Good to see my mum and partner happy too – it’s been a while since I’ve seen a genuine smile on her face. So well done to Mum and Tony – it might take a few years but the right one comes along eventually.

Which is solace for us all, I suppose.

Really, that’s about it today. I have the electric feeling of creativity in my veins again, which is beautiful. I feel hot, I feel alive. The ends of my fingers are still tingling – the film is in edit as I write this, so hopefully the screening won’t be too long away… I might wear a tux just because I can, eh?

“What’s this?” I hear you cry “No comedy stylings today?”

No, not really. I can’t think of anything to write about, so I’m just babbling.

And for that reason, I’m going to leave this here.

Peace be with you.

Chris x x

Airports vs God vs The Universe (philosophically speaking)

First thought of today – how cool is this girl? Proper cool, that’s how cool she is. Sub-fucking-zero.

Anyway.

Song of the day – 23 – Jimmy Eat World
Album of the day – Quality Control – Jurassic 5
Word of the day – Flagellation
Quote of the day – “A village idiot is a wonderful thing if one is a village. If not, not.”
Sound of the day – The sweet and glorious sound of ROCK!

So anyways. After my previous diatribe about the general bad feeling towards Denmark at the moment (I have a link to a website where you can see the cartoons – but I won’t post it here. I may be a lot of things, but suicidally fucking stupid isn’t one of them. If you want it, you know where to find me), I figured there are a few other things I could talk to you about today.

What’s first? Well. I’d like to focus on how cool my friend Danielle is. She’s ultra cool. She’s probably cooler than Shelley. She’s cooler than flared jeans. And she has fantastic musical taste. I pity you all for not knowing Danielle, you sad pathetic fools! Hahahaha! (Evil laugh!)

But that’s enough of that.

For those of you that don’t live in London, yesterday the whole tube network fucked up. There was a signal failure, but London Underground, in all of their indefatigable wisdom, kept sending trains in to the tunnels. Nice one. As a result of that, thousands of people on 3 trains were jammed in a tunnel for an hour and a half, right in the middle of rush hour. It made the front page of the Evening Standard – I was there! I was part of the news! Did anyone ask my opinion?

No.

So here it is. When LU know that there are signalling problems, why don’t they say “don’t get on the train, you’ll be stuck in a tunnel for a couple of hours”, instead of forcing the trains through regardless. God help us in 2012 when the Olympics gets here… I hold my breath in loosely veiled anticipation… Anyway, London transport sucks. Leastways, we all think it does but when it’s held in comparison to say, Yorkshire, it’s positively brilliant. And I can say this with a good sense of authority because I’ve live in both places.

Yorkshire runs on YMT (Yorkshire Mean Time) which essentially means “Whenever-the hell-I’m-ready-you-nancy-boy-southerner Time”.

Some time ago, I was asked to write a piece on Airports. Never usually one to bow to public demand (oh, ok. I’m a whore and I want you approval!), here it is.

Airports. Airports are scary mother fuckers. Now, to be honest I’ve not spent a lot of time in Airports of late, but that’s largely due to the fact that I’d rather tear off my own scrotum than get on a plane. Well maybe that’s going a bit far, but either way I hate flying. True, I get all excited about the thought of going on holiday – but the idea of getting in to what is essentially a flying coffin breathing recycled air and eating crappy plastic food while paying exorbitant amounts of money for a tiny Gin and Tonic just doesn’t sit right with me. If God (and we’ll come to Him later) had intended man to fly, he’d have given us wings. Then again, he did give us the intelligence to work out the theory of lift (the air travelling over the top of the wing has to go faster than the air going underneath the wing to catch up with it, creating an area of low pressure which creates lift), so make of it what you will.

So that’s not so much a bit on Airports as my inherent distrust of flying. And today I have the attention span of something with a very small attention span, so maybe I’ll return to that at another point.

But, I did promise I’d talk about God for a bit.

I like to think of God as the universes’ first and foremost comedian. He’s withstood the test of time. Where other comedians have waned and faltered by the wayside, He consistently provides us with new, fresh comedy stylings every day of every week.

You need proof of this? OK, here’s a few pieces of evidence for you:

1) Ginger people
2) London Underground
3) Belgium
4) Spam
5) George W Bush

That should be enough for you. All that said, I still believe in Evolution over Creation. Yes, some things I have a big problem with. I’ll outline this below:

1) First there was Nothing.
Then, Nothing exploded. And suddenly there was everything. Well, rather most things were around somewhere, it was more than nothing but less than everything, while at the same time being nothing at all apart from clouds of gas and dust and hot stuff. The equivalent of a gigantic cosmic burp.

Let’s put this in to perspective. Nothing, according to those Crazy-Haired scientists I’ve talked about previously, wasn’t actually nothing. Everything was already there, just crunched up really, really small. Like everything in the entire universe was squished in to a nugget the size of something one-trillionth the size of the dot on this ‘i’.

Obviously, this caused quite a bit of pressure… I imagine there was very little elbow room and all the atoms were complaining at the lack of personal space. Sort of like the Northern Line, only less hot. Eventually, a couple of atoms and neutrons (and some unruly electrons) got together, and opened the fire exit door and WHAM! Everything escaped in to the great car-park party of the sky.

Or something like that.

After a couple of hundred thousand millennia, while everything that was nothing and not really anything was still knocking around enjoying the new found freedom, life got a bit boring. Gas was just hanging loose and talking bollocks, while dust was generally getting on everyone’s nerves a bit. Suddenly, everything decided it was a bit dark (the batteries for the torch had ran out), so decided that it would be a good idea if the gases got together and formed stars.

Everything waited patiently while the gas sorted this out over a further couple of thousand millennia. And after a while, there was light. Well, of a sort anyway.

The dust felt it was getting left out of the action. So what it did was, it started hanging out in groups. These groups became what is technically known as rocks. You have to remember that these rocks were super-duper hot, and they attracted more dust and got bigger and bigger and bigger and hotter and hotter and hotter until they were big and ball shaped. Now the dust gets all confused. It starts thinking “well, I’m too big to be dust but too small to be a star! I have no identity! I’m alone in the universe!” So they changed their name to Planets, and there were a bloody lot of them.

And after that there was a whole lot of time where the planets hung around smoking dope, the stars formed gravity, and pulled a group of planets around each one, and taught them the error of their ways.

And then it all went quiet for ages and ages. Apart from random attacks by meteors (which were smaller gangs of dust that hadn’t passed their planet exams) and other stuff which we’re supposed to believe but don’t.

2)Bugger all happened for ages and ages and ages.
After all the action that had been happening, the universe took a gigantic coffee break. Or it went on strike, the union of Planets feeling they’d done just about enough, thankyou. The stars kept shining, but sod all else happened. The edge of the universe kept speeding away at an impossibly big speed, dragging everything else with it, but that was about all.

And then all of a sudden, after billions of years, there was life on Earth. I say life, what I mean is there was organisms. Where the hell did thy come from? Were they on an exchange trip from another universe? What? How?

And the organisms decided it was pretty crap in the primordial slime, so they thought it would be a good idea to get down to some serious evolving.

And evolve they did. They thought “It’s hard struggling about here in this pond of magma. I think a fin or two and a tail and some gills would help”. So they became fish. Some of the fish then thought “It’s pretty boring in this pond altogether, actually. I’m going to go and be a dinosaur out there in the big, wide world”. Which they did.

Then the dinosaurs fucked about for a bit and ate each other and wrote the script for Jurassic Park. Then, the meteors (who had been hanging out behind Saturn playing Cluedo?) decided that Dave the meteor should go and teach the Earth a lesson for sitting there being all superior. So he did.

WHAM!

And everything died. Except for some things which didn’t. Like crocodiles and Cockroaches and Margaret Thatcher’s heart.

And then bugger all happened for a heck of a long time after that.

And out of nowhere, evolution happened again. Just like that. No warning, no nothing. And after a while of transitions between fish (again) and frogs and earwigs and monkeys, Homo Erectus emerged blinking in to the sunlight.

The crocodiles (who’d lived through all of this) simply thought “Oh, bollocks. There goes the neighbourhood.” And they were right, of course. But, in the fullness of time, we’d teach them for their insolence by turning them in to handbags and expensive shoes.

And that’s it. There was everything and nothing all at the same time, and then it blew up. Then a lot of evolution happened, and we were here.

So evolution sounds really cool, and in theory and practice it bloody well works. But scientifically it’s absolutely mind boggling.

“How does God come in to all of this?” I hear you ask. Well, it’s quite simple. I think God was the sub-contractor who won the build rights for Universe, inc. (stocks are currently priced at $1bn per share, it’s a growing operation). So, God exists but he’s really only a builder with a penchant for drama and pyromania. Check it out, his son was a carpenter, following in the family trade. However, this does mean that you’ll need to think of God as a man wearing badly fitting jeans and a hardhat.

“fsssh… Want a universe, do ya? It’s gonna cost ya, luv… ‘Ere, yoo got plannin’ permission for that planet extension?”

And that’s why the whole thing took so long. God, and Ethereal Building. Ltd, took the longest recorded tea breaks in history, and finished the initial universe build an unprecedented 100,000,000 years overdue. The continuing expansion of the Universe has since been subcontracted to Knight Frank industries, who are currently considering turning the Alpha Quadrant in to a development of Luxury Flats. God still oversees the operation on Earth and throughout the milky-way, but it’s largely a caretaking position and he’s getting a bit narked off at his fall from grace. Hence all the earthquakes and tidal waves and things.

And here’s something to really fry the old noggin – if the Universe is constantly expanding, that means there’s something outside of it. But the Universe is meant to be everything, and infinite. But if it’s expanding it means it has a finite edge, so logically there has to be something outside it. There can’t be nothing (nothing doesn’t exist), but there has to be something to expand in to. So the Universe is infinite, but it isn’t.

Kind of makes you think that this is all someone’s sick joke, doesn’t it?

Which proves the existence of God and his profession as a comedian.

I think I’ve banged on for long enough today… But if you ever do get to the end of the universe, this is probably what you’ll see, a sign that says:

"You are now leaving the Universe. Please take your litter with you, and come again!"

Hmm. Before I go, one last thing. A song, or songette, if you will:

Getting Away

You’re standing
On my toes
So much I can’t get anywhere
And no matter how I try
I can’t get away from you

Your hands on
My shoulders
Push me down in to the
Ground
And my death is the only
Way to get away from you

Your eyes burn
In to me
Fix me like the headlights
Of a truck
And getting hit’s
Another way to get away from you

Your Kisses
Attack me
Root my body to
The spot
And me biting back
Is the way to get
Away from you

You smile
So sweetly
Your teeth wrap around
My throat and
Gently
Pull it out
And will I ever
Get away from you?

I’m fighting
I’m dying
Bunch up my fists
And I strike out
It’s not the way
To get away from you
I’m losing
Confusing
Where’s the door
Because I want out
To get away from you

And can we stop this now?
Only I’m not sure how
(And why is it we
Always end up here?)
I’d really like to give up
Fed up of being stuck
(And why is it we
Always end up here?)
My Chest always feels so tight
The way this is, it’s not right
(And why is it we
Always end up here?)

You smile
So Sweetly
Your teeth wrap around
My throat and pull it out
And will I ever
Get away from You?

**

Lots of Love, everyone. Peace.

(p.s - Fleur, if you read this - you'll be sorely missed! See you in Galway!)

Chris x x

Danish Solidarity vs The General Fallout

Song of the Day - Megalomaniac - Incubus
Album of the Day - Collision Course - Linkin Park and Jay-Z
Word of the Day - Vicariously
Thought of the Day - It's almost like someone flushed the loo and we're waiting for the fallout...


Alright, here it is.

I’ve been stewing about this for ages now.

They’re burning my flag, for fuck’s sakes.

I promise, straight off, that this will not be a blog based around ‘those’ cartoons. But I do need to make something absolutely clear.

The paper which is at the centre of this furore is the Jyllends Posten. The cartoons were initially published in September, and here we have to make mention that the cartoons that were deemed most inflammatory were never printed in the Posten. Never, not once. The cartoon of Muhammad wearing a bomb-shaped turban? Never printed in the Posten.

But what infuriates me most is the reaction that this has caused. Fair enough – I take the point that any depiction of Muhammad is against the law of Islam, and there is a reason to be upset or offended.

But what these people who are burning flags, and attacking embassies – oh, and killing their own in protests – need to remember is – it’s not the Danish people who are responsible here. We didn’t all send an offensive caricature of the prophet for ridicule. As a nation, we are one of the most accepting in Europe, if not the world.

There were protests in London. Fine – protest for the protection of your faith. There is no problem with that – we live in a multicultural society and I respect your values. But you should sure as hell respect mine, too. And when I hear chants that are obviously made to incite racial hatred and tension, and when I see placards that threaten the bombing of Denmark – it makes my blood boil.

Do these people not see what they are doing? Do they not see that Nick Griffin (BNP Leader and general fascist arse) will feed on this? He will. And in this country, he and his party are gaining followers (especially in the North of England). I AM NOT ONE OF THEM. I ACCEPT THAT THIS WHOLE PROBLEM IS CAUSED BY A FEW RELIGIOUS ZEALOTS. My Muslim friends are shocked and appalled at the behaviour of some of their brothers.

Look back through history – just about every major conflict has been caused by a misinterpretation on some religion, or philosophy (Nietzsche – imagine him playing Monopoly and picking up a Chance card – “You are Nietzsche. Your entire philosophy was espoused by the Nazis and cynically manipulated to suit their own diabolical ends. Miss a go.”) And make no mistake – we are on the edge of a major conflict. We need to wake up here – the police need to be given the power to arrest people on the spot for inciting hatred… Especially when it’s happening right in front of them.

All I ask is that people get along. Tony-fucking-Blair keeps banging on about Respect. We need to start showing that to each other – before we implode.

And at the risk of sounding like a complete arse – if you don’t like living in the west, if you don’t like your Nike trainers or your central heating or your free (and good) education or your democratic government… Then by all means, go live somewhere’s else. Seriously. You’ll save a drain on taxes (which you’re paying to an imperialist government anyway).

This is a free society. We enjoy freedom of speech. We enjoy tolerance. We enjoy life.

And we’d like to keep it that way, wouldn’t we?

That’s it from me for now. Just wanted to share my feelings.

Solidarity. One world, One Race, One People, One Love.

Peace. X x

It's Starting to Happen vs A General Sense of Unease

“I’ve got another confession to make…”

(Song of the Day – “Best of You” – Foo Fighters
Album of the Day – “Mezmerize” – System of a Down
Thought of the Day – One day, all of this will be easier. If we all love a little more and hate a little less, I reckon we’ll be OK.)

Morning all! How’s things?

Well, it’s been a bit hectic since my last letter to you all. I’ve managed to secure a new job, so after all of my negative remonstrations about where I work now I can finally let it go. Except I won’t, and a portion of this post will be taken up by that.

Quite simply, the senior management in this company have been behaving like gargantuan pricks since I handed my notice in on Monday. I’ve since been told off for going to the loo, for eating a croissant, and generally being me. I’ve also been told that it’s only because they’re disappointed that I’m leaving.

They had SIX MONTHS to notice I was unhappy and sort it out – and they did FUCK ALL. What they offered by way of counter was too little, too late – and if they feel that behaving like kids in a playground is the way forward then bring it on. My mind will not change, my conviction will not falter.

So there you go. That’s the story of work.

Well, folks. It’s that time of year again. That time of year where those of you who are in a state of “we” and not “me” get to stare lovingly at one another and make all of singletons feel like we have some form of leprosy because we don’t have partners.

As a result of this, on the big day (I’m not using the V word) – I am being relegated to my room in the flat because my flatmate is having his girlfriend over for dinner. That means no fun for me on the day – my room has no entertainment equipment – it’s all in the lounge! Grr.

Still, a very wise friend of mine is starting a movement – Singletons Day. This will be on Feb 15th, where we celebrate the fact that we don’t need to have our existence rationalised by a ‘significant other’. Join the party!

All that aside – there is the narcissistic side of me that hopes I get a card… I’ve never had a valentine’s card… *sad* Perhaps I’ll send a few to myself to make me feel popular!

“Dearest Chris,

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Lots of Love,

Chris x x x”

But that’s enough about V-day. I’ve just been informed that the Foo Fighters are playing a gig in Hyde Park in June, and tickets are being booked for me! And as I’m loving the Foos so much at the moment (You must check out “In Your Honour” – it’s a wonderful album! Dave Grohl is a God!) that is quite frankly brilliant news!

So it’s been a while since I’ve last given you things to read. The pure and simple fact of the matter is that I haven’t really had a lot to say over the last week. I haven’t done much writing at all – most of my time is taken up learning my lines and rehearsing for this short film that I’m doing. That’s incredibly exciting, the feel of performing and rehearsing and really finding a character is something I’ve missed so much. It raises in me some powerful emotions – suddenly my soul is rejuvenated, I am on fire. I don’t expect my performance will be its best – it’s been a while since I performed – but I feel like I’m entering the character, not just going through the motions. That’s good. I love that.

So watch this space. The film is being distributed to Indie film festivals, so it might gain some recognition. I also have an audition for another short film which is being distributed to the major film festivals, so all in all things are looking up!

Apart from the fact that I haven’t got 2 pennies to rub together at the moment. The problem is, I look at my friends and they’re all so successful… Some are buying houses, some are buying new iPods on a whim, all are coupled up and happy – and that’s fine and I’m totally pleased for them.

It’s not really a case of jealousy – my point is here that I’ve slugged my guts out for the last year for very little reward and it’s got me nowhere. Hopefully this new job will change all that – because I’m tired of struggling. Now, I know it’s not just me, and I have to cut out all of the things I don’t need (cigarettes for one) – but I want my life back, please. It’s strange to say it – but I was better off as a student. Perhaps that’s because I lived up north and rent was half what I pay here and the cost of generally living was less – but that doesn’t mean to say I’ll ever move back there. With the best will in the world, I couldn’t. I’ve got some fantastic friends up there, and it’s good to visit and every time I go there I’m tempted to stay – but London is my home and always will be. London is expensive, and it’s hard – but it’s home.

Let’s reflect a moment on just how wonderful this city is. There’s no other place like it on God’s green earth. It’s vibrant and colourful. It’s terrifying and beautiful in equal measure. The mix of ethnicity is incredible – I defy any other city to have as much diversity as we have here. Chinatown is beautiful this time of year! I have friends of so many different races, colours and creeds – and how can we ignore different cultures? It’s what makes life so interesting. This city is alive. It never sleeps – it always rumbles on, all of its pieces working in near harmony. The belly of the beast breathes – stand on a tube platform and you can feel it’s breath. Stand on top of a building and you can hear its voice. Put your ear to the ground and you can hear the heartbeat of London. This city will never die. This city is Love and Hate. This city is Man and Beast. This city is Success and Failure. This city is Ours. And no matter how many times you try and knock us down we will always come back bigger, stronger and better than before.

I love my home. I love the people in it. But we all have conflicted relationships with where we live. London is no perfect, it never will be.

But it’s the nearest I’ve got. And you can not take that away from me.

I like to think that most of my blogs, while some of the content is serious, have a comedy edge to them. It’s a talent I’m told I have, being able to make people laugh. So I’m sorry if this hasn’t been so funny so far – even though I have this new job I have very little to be happy about at the moment… In terms of Monday to Friday 9am to 6pm.

Actually, before I leave, I need to talk about something else. I’m worried at the moment by the British legal system (Don’t worry, this will be brief). Just recently (and for fear of libel action I am not going to name any particular cases) there have been several court based decisions where the jury has failed to reach a verdict. How can a jury fail to reach a verdict when all of the evidence points to one person, the police and pathologists are uniformally agreed that the accused is guilty, and when the person in question has been found guilty once already?

How can someone be sentenced to 7 years in prison, but be out in 2 because he’s already served 20 months in custody? That’s a bit of a mockery. That’s like me saying I don’t have to work extra hours because I did overtime in my last job.

I have no major rant route to go down – I just don’t understand it, is all.

Other things I don’t understand:

1) Women – how do you work?
2) American Football
3) Reality TV
4) How they get the chocolate all around the kit-kat
5) Tights
6) Why Pete Doherty is famous
7) Languages I can’t speak
8) Bottled water
9) London Transport
10) Tony Blair

I tell you what. I’m going to leave this here for today, because I feel that I’m probably boring you to tears…
And that can’t be good.

Rest assured that I love you all, and it’s always nice to know that wherever we are, we always go to sleep under the same sky.

Oh, screw it. Here’s a song that I’ve written. Picked at random, I present to you:

Darling, This Life Isn’t Broken Anymore

She always needed
To hear it break
With you again
But she never knew how
To talk without
Her fears falling over the
Eaves
And the bed
Couldn’t break her
Or a thousand
Fallen Angels
Hung on a wire
Though the Churches don’t care…

So pain flowered in her lungs
As though she were climbing
A mountain of
Trepidation and anxiety
But she took breath and she sang
Though we all turned away
Afraid to abandon
The beauty we obey
Who was the light
That insisted we scatter
Dividing us all?
But she’s all broken now
Raining tears from the sky
The only trace she’s alive
When she only needs to smell
Your skin by her side…

When all of the endings
Come grinding our jaws
We all smell the
Tastelessness
Of our rotting souls
As she tears the walls down
To make us forget
And drain off
All our hearts
And turn back to her
And so when she sings
We all turn back
Turning to face
A beauty we
All embrace

**

Bye bye kids. Much love.

Chris. x x